About Me

Tuesday, 23 December 2008

It's ok Pluto... Im not a planet either...

Am I the only person misses Pluto... I mean the planet Pluto...

I feel really sad, he was always out there on the perimeters, occaisionally swinging by to try to say hello, and then some snotty bastard decided that he is too small to be a planet and that he doesnt count. That is just HARSH! I mean thats like telling a midget that they are too small to be a human being!!

Plus my entire way of remembering planets is now just shite... I mean it used to be:

My Very Exotic Mother Just Sits Upstairs Nibbling Peanuts

But now there is no peanuts... NO PEANUTS... she cant just sit upstairs nibbling.. its just not on!!!


Friday, 3 October 2008

Close your eyes

I can lead a nation with a microphone...

My hand is hurting in a way that can only be described as similar to a million hedgehogs having upside-down sex on my bones... serves me right for punching people I expect, though my friend Dan has pointed out some tips for future punching sessions. Of which I hope there will me non.

I can safely say that my hand hurts more than my face did last time I was hit... which leads me to wonder why anyone actually bothers doing it in the first place.

Anyway, the reason I am writing is because I cant sleep, I have a tin of paint in my room, and I am considering painting CLOSE YOUR EYES on the ceiling... maybe no one else would notice.

I might write a poem... and I might call it... Insomnia?

Tender darkness hold me tight
Pull me in and hide the light
I beg you, try and calm my mind
Hold my eyes closed from behind

Drag me backwards through a dream
Perverse subconcious, kick and scream
Try and still my quickened breath
Still alive, but nearer death

Tender darkness help me sleep
Fly so high and fall so deep
Tease me gently through the night
Different evening... same fight

Right... that will do for now... so sleep well, sweet dreams. x

Wednesday, 1 October 2008

Axa Healthcare Demons and Stanner Stairlifts

I went away for the day to Durhum with Cath... which from the outset was destined to be hilarious in every way, as she has me in stitches constantly. The morning set off to an amazing start by a major miscommunication which resulted in me sitting in the station in Costa, and Cath going into the town to hunt for a Costa coffee shop in there... When we finally worked out where each other were (after an hour), we went to Cafe Rouge for lunch... which was DELICIOUS!!!

However, Cath then persuaded me to climb up the tower in the Durham Cathedral... I have not done exercise for years, so it nearly killed me. When I find the photographs I shall put them up because they are hilarious... I look half dead. I actually collapsed with exhaustion when I got to the top. I was lay on the roof of the cathedral trying to convince Cath that we weren't unfit, it was just the change in altitude, when 3 old women came sprinting out the door as if they had just lept off a stair lift... there is no possible way that those old women made it up those stairs... there were 375 steps... and you might as well double that number because they were massive double sized steps. I can only think of 2 possible ways that the women got up those stairs... one is that they got up there half an hour earlier and hid behind the door, and the other is that there was a Stanner stairlift that I just didnt see... Im hoping it was the second one... Iv always wanted to have a go on one of those things... It looks fun.

Down was alot easier and less stressful... still hurty on the knees though :(
So... me and Cath were just wandering towards the pound shop, about to have a bargin hunt when we were stopped in out steps by 2 men. They were stood in front of an Axa Healthcare stand. The one that did the most talking was horrible... greasy... he stank of alcohol... and was rude. And he wouldnt let us go... stupid scary man... In fact I think I am going to write a letter of complaint... right now... see you later!
xx x xx

Tuesday, 23 September 2008

My Oh My, A song to say good bye...

I have this massive sense of impending doom... Im quite sure that something terrible is going to happen, either that or Im to close to the edge again and need to step back, and the feeling im having is the fact im looking down...

Maybe its about my interview tomorrow... or maybe its because I am so worried about so many of my friends. They are a wonderfully unstable bunch of people. I need to cheer up... maybe moon chavs will help...


Sunday, 21 September 2008

No one can understand how much I miss this man....

Radiohead's Nude, isn't it? from Jonic on Vimeo.

Muse's "Sunburn", right out of my face! from Jonic on Vimeo.

Things Rick Astley would never do...

This is just a diagram to assist in completion of the recent poll.

You shouldn't let me watch football...

The sun is shining and the grass is green... 

My boyfriend is at work and I have a million words to write for university and I would much rather sit here and chew off my own hand, but unfortunately they haven't come up with a degree for that yet.  Though as a race, we cannot be too far off since there is a degree in David Beckam. (I personally hold him in such a light that even giving his name capital letter makes me grind my teeth and look like I'm about to headbutt the screen).  So much for 'thou shalt not worship false idols'.

Anyway on a lighter but still football themed note, I went to the football yesterday.... yes that's right... me at the football.  It was York vs. somewhere that isn't York. I went with one of the men that I look after, for the sake of this we shall call him A.  Anyway A said that I wasn't getting into it properly and that I should be shouting and stuff, but I didn't have a clue what was going on.  I ended up shouting and screaming at the coach of the away team for saying 'fuck' and 'cunt' every 2 seconds.  He looked at me with devil eyes and looked utterly bemused and the whole stadium stared at him and me as I continued shouting... Then I sat back down and A said I was very embarrassing and that he would never take me to the football again.  SUCCESS!!!! NO MORE FOOTBALL!!!!

And so it is that now I am going to have a shower to make myself all squeaky clean... because everyone knows that you cannot do essays unclean... honest?!?